|My daughter Krystal Rose and I|
Everything , I do , they do , has an effect on it all...
These last couple of months of trying to create a concept , then develope it , has been a test on my mind and my spirit . I've tried collaborating with the artistic people I know and it has sometimes back fired on me , other times it all works out , but boy! I tell ya ! Sometimes it just makes me want to give up! I will be honest . I often think, " What the hell am I doin?", " Im such a fucking joke ! "But! the strong bitch in me says," Fuck that! You gonna let these assholes get you down like that?" Then I say,"Hell no!" I come back and try again . The reason I do any of this , is because
I AM AN ARTIST , NOTHING WILL CHANGE THAT! AND AS SUCH I WILL BUST MY ASS AND PUT MY ART OUT THERE FOR ANYONE WHO CARES TO SEE !
The photo above is of my daughter Krystal Rose and I . My daughter is such a talented gal . She has always been and nothing ever stopped her from doing what she loved to do . Yes , I do say loved because , in the last three years I have to say she has lost herself . For her to complete anything these days is a very difficult task for her . She trys but just doesn't complete her work anymore . As artists we have to make time for our art . No one is going to do it for you . I always push through what I need to do , and if sacraficing sleep is the way I have to do it to meet deadlines then that is what I do. Many artists will never complete things because of lack of sacrafice . I bring my daughter on to many of my projects hoping that she would get motivated , but only your own soul can motivate you , no one can do that for you . My daughter is young , she had a family very young , she was a teen , and therefore never got to grow up . Had she lived with me ,she would have learned to make time for her dream , but chose to live with her boyfriend and his family , which everything was given to them therefore made her lazy to her craft and more about having a good time making up being young.
After all that I move forward alone in my projects and my projects Just MINE!
After trying to help my daughter and always putting myself on the backburner in hopes that the ones I love would get it , then always turn on me ,take from me , and things go wrong , I finally decided I have to focus on JUST ME! Since; I have taken so many awesome pictures of a model I teamed up with named Alli . Alli is a gal from Medesto , Ca. Shes a determined art major going to OTIS art school . Im so glad I met her . She is very professional and humble , we have a blast working together , and you see this in our photos .
|The beautiful Miss AlliCat of Hollywood!|
I love what I do! I soooo enjoy when Im having one on one time with my muze and she collaborates with me , trusts me and we get alot done . Im very fortunate to be working with Miss. Alli . She knows how this business is and understands it , therefore giving this teamwork a chance . This is very difficult to find in this town called Los Angeles ; again! I will be honest! I love where Im from , and very proud of where I was born and raised , Im also proud to be an artists /photographer from Los Angeles , but! I also know that a high percentage of Los Angelinos have the biggest egos and those egos get in the way of making art . I can understand if you are already there , in major magazines getting paid , then ok , you have a bit of a right to snub me , I am an amature in the world of professionals . If I ask you to do a photoshoot with me ,its because A.) I think you have the look Im looking for B.) I am asking to do photos for you for FREE!!! ( some reason these gals seem to forget that ) and C.) Im putting them out there to submit to magazines which would give EXPOSURE!!!
It is very difficult to find models out here in Los Angeles . I find that the ego's of these people are just a little too big . I laugh sometimes because I've got them telling me before ," Well if its a major magazine I will do the shoot with you " Well , if its a major magazine don't ya think the magazine would be assigning me a model that they felt was worthy of me taking photos of LOL! I mean for reals! Where do some of these chicks get off ? Im not trying to be mean but Geez really? or how about " This isn't very professional , your being a little too ambitious" NO! REALLY??!! Of course Im being ambitious , ambition is what makes an artists take a fucking chance! Oh and this isn't very professional? Of course its not professional you dumb ass! If it was professional you think I'd be using your ass? LOL! Again , just being honest .
For us ARTISTS , things don't always come easy . We all take chances and try , thats all you got! I love doing what I do . I would love to get paid for what I love doing , but first and foremost ,Im an artists first! No money is gonna change that! If all you artists wanna collaborate with me awesome ! I love creating , thats what keeps me alive and Im an older woman ok people , Im in my 40's and nothing is gonna stop me from continueing to do what I love and enjoy and I will continue to take photos put them in zines all around the world , like I have ! and no one or anything will stop me!
I WILL BE FAMOUS WHEN IM DEAD!
Now that I got that off my chest I will continue my pin up photography , just found out I will be in another magazine with the lovely AlliCat of Hollywood , the first with Miss Alli and other magazines pending at the moment . Im also editting a couple of documentaries I've been working on one on East Jesus and another on my own life and how art changed it .